Hey Ace. I’ve got a proposition for you.

 

ace

One of my favorite TV shows to watch over (and over) again, is Gilmore Girls. And if I could only watch one TV Episode for the rest of my life, it would be “You Jump, I Jump, Jack” from Season 5. In this episode, Rory covers an event for the paper, in which she is thrown from her comfort zone. The Life and Death Brigade is a secret society at Yale, in which fellow newspaper reporter Logan Huntzberger is apart of. Essentially, he brings her to this over the top event, and in the end, talks her into jumping off a ledge with an umbrella, while attached to a cord.

This episode has always stuck out to me, for so many reasons. One, I love Logan Huntzberger. Played by Matt Czuchry, Logan was the boyfriend I felt made Rory her truest self, pulled her out of her comfort zones, and always encouraged her to chase her dreams. Two, I related a lot to Rory in this episode. I’ve always been sheltered, timid, and scared to try new things. Like Rory, I’ve always been the good girl, I’ve always followed the rules, and I’ve always done what’s expected of me. So when she decides to jump, I’ve always felt like it’s never too late for me to take a jump as crazy as hers. Three, there are so many good, quotable moments. If you’ve ever looked at my personal Instagram, so many of the photos I’ve posted used a quote from this episode as a caption.

As I grow older, I find myself watching this episode more and more. I’m 25, and I feel like I haven’t taken any crazy, out of my comfort zone experiences. I spent most of the past six months with high anxiety, and lots of depression, so I also spent those months eating my feelings in junk, not working out as much as I had been, and gaining back all of the weight I had lost, and then some. I became a shell of a person who was already shy, quiet and scared of everything. I had no idea who I had become, other than someone I knew I did not want to be.

I am now officially at my highest weight ever, and it makes me SO SCARED. I don’t want to live a life, where food consumes my thoughts, and where I don’t have the courage to take on any kind of adventure. Every time, I watch Season 5, Episode 7 of tumblr_nrnvnk7kvT1txws16o4_r1_400Gilmore Girls, I feel like Logan is speaking directly to me.  I know I am a person who looks like they need a little adventure because I do. I need to step out of my comfort zone. I need to stop letting food control my life. I need to stop letting my mental illness control my every move.

I want to be like Rory in this episode. I want to be able to look adventure in the eye, and say “Let’s Go.” Throughout my weight loss journey, which includes all of the ups & downs, I have learned that I have let my weight tumblr_oyfoyuDY241wdaur3o5_250.gifcontrol my life. I have said no to things because of my weight. I have worn certain clothes because of my weight. I have not worn certain clothes because of my weight. I have turned down certain invitations because of my weight. I have stressed over so many things, all because of my weight. And I know that is not the way to live. And it’s certainly not the way I want to live my life anymore.

I want to jump off a ledge (figuratively, not literally). I want to go on adventures that I have been afraid to do. I want to be proud of who I am, and not ashamed of the choices I’ve made. I am excited to live my life in a new way, in a way where I won’t turn down new things because I’m scared. I am excited to try new foods, try new clothes, and try new adventures. I’ve already made the decision to change my professional life. I am going to school to become a paralegal and work in the law, a subject I have always wanted to be apart of, but let my fears about life talk me out of when I graduated high school.

tumblr_ojqo4avjYD1uk4c3wo10_250.gifGoing back to school, to follow my dream, was just my first “In Omnia Paratus” adventure. I know there will be so many to more to come, and as Logan Huntzberger once said, “People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it’s one less minute you haven’t lived.” So like Rory Gilmore, I am excited to finally live!

 

Until next time!

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