Hello, holiday season! As much as I wish I could say I am excited that you’re here and that I’ve missed you, that would be a lie.
For me, while holidays can bring joy, happiness, and fun, they can also bring fear, anxiety, and sadness.
This holiday season is different from those in the past for me, because, for the first time, I am paying for all the gifts with my own money, that I am earning from work. Since I am still fresh out of college, I have little to no money thanks to my loans. So it makes me sad that I can’t buy the gifts that I want to for my loved ones since I can’t really afford it. This has caused my anxiety to increase.
Along with being able to afford the gift giving, the fear of not giving someone something they like is what makes me the most anxious. With my anxiety, when people I care about are sad or aren’t enjoying something, I feel it. I also don’t like the feeling of letting someone down. So when it comes to gift giving, I worry about every possibility, except the one where they love what I get. It’s very hard for me to be positive when I’m in a state of anxiety and worry.
It’s hard for me to get emotionally invested in the holidays since they come and go so quickly. I struggle to get excited about decorating, and I’m not a big fan of the usual “Holiday Foods”. Overall, I just have a hard time. And when I see it being so easy for so many people around me, I get sad, and I get anxious.
So now that I’ve explained why the holidays are tough for me, I am going to use my next couple of blog posts to give tips, and advice, and maybe share another personal story or two. I’m sure I’m not alone in my feelings for the holidays, so if you’re like me and you have any ideas or advice, leave a comment below!
Until next time!