There are times when I’m at my most anxious, that I wish I my friends and family understood more about what I go through on a daily basis, so I could stop feeling bad for being a “bad person”. I know I’m not actually a bad person, but when you cancel plans, or want to hide all day, you feel like one. SoI put together a list of 5 things I wish my friends understood about my anxiety.
- If I cancel our plans, it’s not you, it’s me. (Really it’s me)
- There are days when I do not want to move, get dressed or be social. And if that’s a day that we are supposed to hang out, I don’t cancel plans or not text you back because of you. I’ll be no fun to hang out with anyway. So please just accept the fact that I can’t handle the day, and say, “ok, maybe next time.” Making me feel worse for not hanging out, just makes my anxiety grow, which will be worse for both of us.
- You don’t actually feel the same, because no one feels the same.
- Even if you’re suffering from anxiety yourself, I promise you you’re not going through the same things I am. My thoughts, worries and stress are my own. You will never know what’s really going on in my head. So telling me you understand, actually makes my problems seem less important, which make me resent you. So please, just be there for me, and don’t try to group our thoughts together.
- I will choose what makes me happy, over something that makes me sad.
- With my anxiety, there are only a few things that take my mind off of it. We don’t all have the same “happy places”, so if I tell you I can’t make it because I am doing something that makes me “happy”, please don’t downplay it and make me seem like a bad person. I do enjoy hanging out with you, and doing what you like, but sometimes, I need to have “Me Time” and do the things that will make me feel better.
- I will disappear, but I will always come back.
- On days where I can’t think straight, or days that I make myself sick with worry, I need to get away. I need to put the phone down, turn off the computer, and just take a break from life. I know in today’s society, not checking your phone every five seconds is illegal, but sometimes it needs to be done. So even though I may always have my phone on me 99% of the time, there will be that 1% where I won’t. So please don’t get mad when I don’t respond. I will when I’m feeling better, and trust me, you’ll like those answers better.
- Don’t make fun of something you don’t understand
- Mental Health isn’t a joke. You may think that anxiety isn’t real or that what I’m going though isn’t the worst thing in the world. But you’re wrong. Anxiety is very real, especially to me. And even though other people may be worse off, the battle I fight everyday is a big deal, and is very important to me. So when we’re all talking, please don’t joke about anxiety. Because it might be a joke to you, but it isn’t to me, and it will make me feel like I am an awful person.
Let me know in the comments below if you can relate to any of these thoughts, or if you have one to add to the list! Always remember, no matter what others think, you’re battle is important, and no matter how hard it is, never stop fighting.
Until next time!