A Letter

dearme

Dear Old Me,

We’ve come a long way in the past year. We’ve changed a lot about who we are and how we feel. We may not have good days everyday, but they are starting to be more good than bad.

In the past year, a lot has happened. We’ve gone through a few job changes, we’ve gotten back into blogging and we started to take control of our life. Our anxiety has gotten help, we started working out and even more impressive, we started to smile.

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6/13/15

Happiness was something we always struggled with. Most days we fought to keep the smile on our face, while on the inside, we were falling into a black hole. All we wanted to do was crawl under the covers, cuddle our stuffed animals, and just cry. But to keep up our act, we got out of bed, got dressed and took on the day the best way we could.

I’m happy to report that today, we actually understand how it feels to smile, and have happy feelings behind it. When we finally decided to stop letting anxiety control our weight loss journey, we saw the changes that inspired us to keep going, that inspired us to change our diet, and inspired us to work harder at the gym than ever before.

Now, we look forward to each new day. We look forward to waking up, getting out of bed & smiling for real. While anxiety still controls most of our lives, it doesn’t control one journey, the one journey that we’ve been trying to go on for so many years. It’s the journey to change our lifestyle, that is also changing how we live the rest of our lives.

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Things are far from perfect. Work still makes us sick to our stomach, and events pop up in our lives, that make us want to crawl back under the covers. But at the same time, there is finally one thing that we are finally able to control. And it’s that one thing, that is making all the bad stuff seem less important. We’re changing our lifestyle, and by doing that, we’re beating our anxiety, even if it’s only a small, small victory.

Anxiety is still controlling our lives, and who knows how long that will last. And even though we still can’t fall asleep without knocking on wood after every thought, and even though we make ourself sick with worry and stress on a daily basis, we are making small progress. And small progress, is still progress, and that’s worth the smile we have when we look in the mirror.

So here’s to our long journey ahead. It’s been a wild year, and I’m sure it’s gonna stay wild. But as long as we can control one part of our lives, it will be worth it.

Sincerely,

The Current Me.

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