Most people in the world LOVE weekends. I mean, no work, 2 days to relax…who wouldn’t love them?
The answer…is me.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I love having days off, being able to sleep in, and of course, relax! But free time on the weekends, also comes with friends making plans to do something. And that’s why I don’t like weekends.
If the plans are something simple, like hanging out at someone’s house or going out to eat, then I’m totally down. It’s when the plans get bigger, is when weekends for me, really starting to suck.
With my anxiety, I overthink everything, especially when it comes to the “What If’s.” So when the plans include a long travel or meeting new people, I freak out and turn into a “bad friend.”
My friends really don’t understand my anxiety struggles and I really don’t like talking about them. So when something is being planned that I know I’m not going to be comfortable doing, or when last minute anxiety attacks happen, I end up coming up with an excuse, so I don’t have to go.
So I guess that makes me a bad friend. I mean, I certainly feel like one. Why would anyone want to hang out with someone who bails last minute from time to time? Or someone who’s not comfortable to open up?
I wish it was okay to just say, “sorry, my anxiety is too high to go.” But I know for a fact, my friends wouldn’t understand and they’d probably make jokes about it.
So am I really a bad friend, or am I just honest with myself, so that I can try and keep my anxiety under control?
Until next time!